Mr. Votolato

"some mistakes can't be undone, it will never be like it was.
wishing for it, only makes it worse."

-Rocky puts almost a year of my life into two sentences. dammit.

mope, not morre.

I'm feeling over and under-whelmed at the moment. I'm not making the kind of money that I thought I'd be making coming out of school. Somehow I had more money while I was in school then while I've been out... -I don't quite know how that works.
I feel like work has taken up all of my days, which means I don't have much time for my friends - whom all seem to be busy with their own work schedules as well.
I have a long list of people I need to call, but am apprehensive about it because I don't quite know my schedule well enough to make plans. And while hanging out with David tonight, the realization about all of it came to a head. All of the people that I used to see on a regular basis, those that became my rock, have all gone back to their lives. It's a strange notion. For two years, 20-odd random strangers, put aside their lives. And now that those two years are up, they fall back into the world they once knew, as if nothing really lapsed. Perhaps I'm being a bit dramatic. People changed, bonds happened, skills and professions altered. But suddenly there is no time, or no good time. It's all such a mess of schedules, no one is on the same clock anymore. It's sad, and frustrating. Heck! I live with one of my friends, and I barely get the chance to see her even! It's all just a bit depressing.
I always remember how much I hate data management when I start working it full time...that's not to say that I don't love my coworkers, it's hard to find - although I must say, I've usually been pretty lucky. But the job itself will drain you of all life and meaning. So, if my next few entries to this thing are a bit down and out, it's because most of my day is spent thinking about how much I wish I was somewhere else, with someone else, was someone else...I get a lot of pondering done, a lot of dwelling, a lot of over analyzing. It's enough to put anyone over the edge...almost.

new place to call home.

Took a drive to my mom's new place this weekend. Leavenworth, Wa. I was pleasantly surprised really. It's a big change of pace for my mom, I'm hoping it's what she wants. Aside from that weighing worry, I can somehow see them being there for years on end - which is a feeling I haven't felt about a house since my grandmother's house. It was a strange feeling to have...among other strange thoughts of the future that followed.
self portrait, driving through the pass.
my mom feeds the birds, all of them, on what seems to be an almost daily basis. turns out mountain birds are little oinkers.
the house.
the views.
Daniel Radcliffe turns 18 in 2 weeks! whoot! not that not being legal was stopping me from looking...but you know, I can now feel less dirty, and not have to use the phrase "if only I was a thirteen year old girl..." because really, who was I kidding anyway?! yeah. I know.

robots save humanity, with one GM vehicle at a time.

saw Transformers yesterday - can you think of a better way to spend July 4th, than in a movie theater watching the summer blockbuster.?...okay, you probably can, and so can I. But it was my brainchild, and I'm sticking to it dammit. Would I recommend it? Not really, but Hank and I had a good time anyhow - maybe you would too!?

man, I loved those toys! Thanks brother for sharing at such a young age.

the beginning

I had my first real life photographer moment today. I interviewed with Sasquatch Books, showed them my book, and talked about possible projects in the works - I might become one of their freelance photographers!?...if they like me that is...
It seemed to go pretty well, they talked about the book project that I had originally come in there to talk about, and they also brought up other projects in the works - which I found very intriguing! They were a great group of people - oddly most of them had graduated from Seattle Central - and I felt really comfortable around all them (for being in an interview situation at least).
Their production manager led me to the conclusion that I needed to find myself a food stylist (not necessarily because my styling was bad, but more I think because I'm not a food stylist, and wouldn't want that pressure while trying to photograph, too) - so I might have to HIRE someone to be my second-hand-man!?! That's nuts right? yeah. I thought so. (that was my first real life photographer moment)

Well, here's hoping that it all goes well.

a rainbow to make it all better.

June 28th. sucked. except maybe the last hour of so when I was good and drunk with my friends...but by then it was nearly the 29th, so it just barely counts. -but we'll pretend it does.
June 29th. made up for the 28th. see the funny/sad/strange thing is, it's not all that big of a deal to me (my birthday, etc) perhaps on some level it is - since it's instilled in you from the day you are born that your birthday is a 'special day' - but there is a part of me that detests the attention given on a day such as your birthday. the pressure can be very aggravating. I'm half sorry I threw all of those surprise parties for Lucien back in the day, because it must have been awful on some level to take all of that in. i digress.
Well, I'm not sure why my "special day" had to go so poorly. But again, in the end, it was just another day - I just happen to be considered one year older now. Look how wise, how distinguished.
On my way to Redmond, Friday (to visit my mother one last time as she resides in the black hole that is Redmond...she now resides in the even MORE black hole that is Leavenworth) the rain storm continued from yesterday - and while hoping for a thunderstorm, I found myself driving under a full rainbow. A rainbow that you could actually see where it started and ended; hitting the water of lake washington on either side of the 520bridge. It was pretty spectacular, and I 'challenged' myself to pull out my point and shoot powershot and snap some shots while driving in the rain, on 520, in 6pm traffic. -it wasn't too bad, I just wish I could have stopped and really taken a shot.



This weekend has been pretty full so far. Went to sushi with Steph, saturday afternoon, after working a couple of make-up hours with Katrina (my coworker). Bought a few cds at Sonic Boom - the new White Stripes and Rocky Votolato, Eels live album, and a Calexico/Iron and Wine collaboration. Feeding my music addiction. It's a beautiful thing.
I took in a movie by myself on the east side. Remembered how much I love the Ocean's movies. Ocean's 13 is lovely and entertaining. Some great one liners, George Clooney and Brad Pitt work very well off of each other.
Had drinks with my friend Chase at a new wine bar/cafe called Cafe Presse or Le Presse on 12th. We went to his place afterwards, and he showed me this PBS special called Art:21, one of the featured artists was Sally Mann. Love her stuff, but my god, she's a little nuts! It was interesting to see. And a bit hard to understand...why they all have to be crazy.
Now I'm off to enjoy the company of Kirsten and Ken.